Dear Crosby, On Your First Day of School

Dear Crosby:

You just left our house after a Saturday afternoon together. Earlier today your mom texted us and said that you kept saying you wanted to come over to our house. We had other tentative plans for the evening, but whenever you say you want to come over to our house we pretty much cancel everything and make plans to have you over. So we went to the grocery store to get burgers to throw on the grill, and of course some watermelon because you and your little sister, Colbie, love it.

Sometimes when you leave our house I wish you were old enough to text with me. I wish I could text you right now and say, “That was so much fun! I can’t wait until you come over again!” We did all the stuff you love to do at our house. Play with our huge bin full of cars. Color in our coloring books and play with play-doh that Grandmom makes from scratch.

You love to play in what you call “my room,” because it’s “your room” when you sleep over. You and Colbie love to jump on the bed in there, and we let you. You love to open the plastic eggs in that room where Grandmom hides little surprises. And you can’t wait to look in the desk drawer to see if you can find some Skittles. (You did tonight, of course). You ate the M&M’s and Little Bites that are always available and Grandmom and Granddad’s house.

When you come over you always play with our little Brio train set. And you love to ride the little toy motorcycle we keep in the garage. Tonight, after dinner you put on your bicycle helmet, and we all took a walk while you rode your bike. You’re so good at balancing on it that you’re almost ready to ride a “real bike.” Of course we had to walk over to the fountain where you love to throw rocks into the water. Almost every time you come to our house we walk over there, I get the rocks that are in the bottom of the fountain, and you throw them back in. You’ve been doing that almost as long as you could walk.

Right now you’re at the stage where you love to wipe my kisses off whenever I kiss you, because you know I don’t like it when you do that. I act like I’m sad when you wipe my kisses off, so you come to me and tell me to kiss you so you can wipe another one off. But I noticed that when you left tonight, you didn’t wipe off the last kiss I gave you.

As soon as you left I missed you. I wanted to text you and tell you to have a good night’s sleep. I wanted that one last little connection with you. But I knew you were taking a bath and getting ready for bed. I hope you had sweet dreams of all the fun stuff we got to do at our house today.

After you left I couldn’t help thinking about next Monday when you will be going to school for the very first time. You’re going to preschool. It’s just two mornings a week. And it will be good for you. You’ll learn to be away from Mommy and Daddy for a little while. You’ll make new friends. You’ll play with the trucks they have at school. The playground will be fun and exciting. And you’ll learn so many new things.

But Granddad is having a hard time with it. At this moment in time you live in a little bubble that’s safe, and comfortable, and fun. Mommy, Daddy, Grandmom, and Granddad pray with you, tell you that Jesus loves you, and teach you things that we know and believe to be true. Pretty soon you’ll be (only slightly) released into the world where you might learn things that aren’t always in your best interests. You might see things that I wish you’d never have to see. You’ll experience kids taking away your toys and refusing to share, they’ll say things that wouldn’t meet the approval of Mommy and Daddy, and you might be a little scared or sad at some of the things you experience.

But, in the end, I know that you have to grow up. I know that you have to go to school. Everybody does. But always know that your Granddad loves you so much he would give his very life for you. Always know that, more than that, Jesus loves you with a love that will never, ever end, die, or fade. Always know that your family is filled with your biggest fans who will love and support you through it all.

Take your backpack that’s covered with trucks, your little lunch box, and wear your brand new Vans. Go out into the big, wide world equipped with all that great stuff. But even more than that, go out there wrapped in the love, protection, and peace of God. Because, after all, He loves you far more than I ever could. And I want to tell you, Crosby, that’s a whole, whole lot. More than you will ever know.

I can’t wait until you come over to our house again.
I love you, Buster. Thanks for being my little buddy.

Love, Granddad.

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5 thoughts on “Dear Crosby, On Your First Day of School

  1. This is such a precious narrative from you to your grandson. One day he too will read it over and over again and remember just how much you and the God you taught him about loves him.
    Thank you so very much for putting to pen your soul felt emotions and observations.

  2. How wonderful and touching. My father spoke of his first grandson, ( my son) the same way. My son ( David Levenhagen) often told me if grandma or grandpa said it, it was carved in stone. Oh they loved him and all their grandchildren. I miss the fact that they missed so many great grands to love. I hope life is treating you well. God is good! All the time….

  3. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. These thoughts are solidified by writing them. They are multiplied by sharing them.
    Allen