Somebody found my blog today by searching Google with this phrase: “need ideas to make pastor wife feel appreciated.”   I don’t know how they got to my blog…but it’s a good request!

Now I’m not a pastor’s wife. But I know a pastor’s wife pretty well, and I think I can tell you some ways to make a pastor’s wife feel appreciated.

1. Support Her Husband. Nothing makes the life of a pastor’s wife easier and more enjoyable than a happy, well-respected, super-supported husband.  When you support him, you are supporting her.
2. Lower Expectations. Make it known to her in no uncertain terms that she is not expected to be chair of the ladies guild, an altar helper, or a Sunday School teacher.  If those are her gifts and she chooses to serve in one or more of those ways, thank her as you would anyone else.  But make certain that it is not an iron-clad expectation.
3. Don’t Leave Her Out. It has become in vogue to dedicate the month of October as “Clergy Appreciation Month.”  How about recognizing his wife during that month, too.  You could also send her flowers, a card, or a gift certificate “just because” you appreciate all the many ways she supports both her husband and the church.
4. Give Her the Gift of Time. See to it that the pastor’s wife gets time with her husband.  It could be on his regular “day off,” or even for a weekend getaway.  If the couple has children, volunteer to babysit on regular occasions.
5. Let Her Be Her.  Please don’t try to fit her into your mold.  Allow her to show and to share her own personality, gifts, and talents, in the way that she feels best…not in the way the congregation feels she should.

Do you have any other ideas?  Let me know by way of “comment,” and I will pass them on.