Category Archives: Inspiration

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“Scoring” Life

When I go to baseball games the first thing I do is stop at the stand right inside the ball park doors and buy a scorecard. I love to score baseball games. It slows the game down (I know, I know…some of you are saying baseball is sloooooow already; well I disagree; it’s a game of skill, strategy, and quick thinking). I enjoy the information it gives me in the later innings of the game. And someday I’m going to have a priceless keepsake when I score a no hitter or a have the chance to record some other momentous record.

In her wonderful autobiographical book, Wait ‘Til Next Year, Doris Kearns Goodwin writes about what a joy it is to score a game. Her father faithfully teaches her how to score a game so she can do so as she listens on the radio. Finally, she has the chance to go to a game at Ebbets Field. It’s one of the highlights of her entire life:

I experienced that night what I have experienced many times since: the absolute pleasure that comes from prolonging the winning feeling by reliving the game, first with the scorebook, then with the wrap-up on radio, and finally, once I learned about printed box scores, with the newspaper accounts the next day. But what I remember most is sitting at Ebbets Field for the first time, with my red scorebook on my lap and my father at my side (p. 51).

“My red scorebook on my lap and my father at my side.” I know you are picturing that in your mind right now. And I know you are feeling it in your heart. Would that we could all feel that way at the end of every day.

What if someone spent a day “scoring” your life? What if there were a booth just inside your front office door, and people could buy a card, sit back, and pencil in the home runs, hits, doubles, triples, and strike outs? It might help to have a spectator watching what you do every now and then. It would be humiliating to record a strike out; but just think how awesome it would be to hit a home run! The person “scoring” your day would get to fill in the whole square.

Even if someone else doesn’t “score” your day, what if you did. What if each “inning”/hour/segment you recorded the “score” by jotting down a home run, hit, double, triple, or strike out? It might:

  • Slow down your day by putting it into manageable increments
  • Provide help in strategizing your next “move,” objective, or goal
  • Give information later in the day to help see where you’ve been, where you are, and where you hope to go
  • …Or maybe even be a keepsake of a momentous day where everything came together for a “big win”

More than that, maybe you could spend your last few minutes at work with your “red scorebook on (your) lap and (your) (F)ather at your side.” You could prolong that winning feeling, re-live the highs and lows of the day, and boost your productivity the following day. Your Father would be sitting there with a grin on His face, and you would be feeling a wonderful sense of accomplishment.

How do you “score” your day? Any insights?

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How to Raise a Daughter

The other day I was at a meeting and mentioned that our daughter is graduating from college this weekend. Someone at the meeting, only half in jest, said, “Can you please tell us how to raise a daughter?” It got a big laugh. But I also saw the seriousness in the eyes of the one who made the request.

I got to thinking that the job has, indeed, been done. My wife, Tammy, and I have raised (past tense) a daughter. I believe that college graduation is the marking of that event.

While I will readily admit I made plenty of mistakes along the way, I am very happy to say that both Tammy and I are very proud of the woman our daughter, Ashlyn, has become. Many of the things we dreamed for, hoped for, and planned for have come to fruition: she has a college degree; she avoided the pitfalls of the teenage and college years; and, more than anything, she is a strong, church-going Christian.

I’m not presumptuous enough to say that I have all the answers, or that I could prescribe the perfect way to raise a daughter. But following are ten things that could very well contribute to successfully raising a daughter:

  1. When she is young, read to her. I have fond memories of reading picture books, short novels, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, and a children’s Bible every night before bed. To this day Ashlyn is an avid reader.
  2. Express your love to her as frequently and often as you possibly can. We had a little ritual every night where I would kiss her on the cheek and say: “You’re the best…little girl…in the world.” She was loved and affirmed.
  3. Strongly encourage, support, and reward good study habits. In our case this definitely took two parents. I have no clue about math. Tammy defers to me in the areas of writing and English. We made sure that we were there to help with homework, prod when necessary, and celebrate good grades (sometimes even monetarily).
  4. Provide extra-curricular creative outlets. From early on Ashlyn had a flair for the dramatic and a desire to be on stage. We sacrificed so that she could spend as much time as she could doing things related to theatre. We took her to auditions. We enrolled her in First Stage Summer Academy. We gave her dance lessons and voice lessons.
  5. Encourage her to pursue what she loves. For some kids theatre is a passing fancy. For Ashlyn it was something she wanted to pursue as a career. We never told her she couldn’t, or put a road block in the way. It was always our philosophy to  encourage her to “do what you love and love what you do.”
  6. Love your spouse. There is no better way for a daughter to see and know what love is than to be assured that her parents love each other.
  7. Compliment her looks, her style, her brain, and her talent. There are enough things in this world that can beat a girl down. Make sure that she feels good about herself by going out of your way to provide compliments and kudos.
  8. Balance firm discipline with age-appropriate latitude. As children are growing up they need boundaries. They will test those boundaries. Those boundaries need to remain firm. When those boundaries are crossed there must be consequences. On the other hand, with age comes more freedom and responsibility. Let out an appropriate amount of slack.
  9. Communicate with her. Tammy and I made it our business to always stay in contact with Ashlyn…know what she was doing and where she was going. We were careful not to be overbearing about it, but just made it a regular part of living together in our family. Once she went to college our good communications continued. I am not ashamed to say that she and I or she and Tammy still speak on the phone nearly every day. We communicate. That’s what parents and daughters do.
  10. Take her to church, bring her up in the church, make church a regular part of every week. When she is a child take her to church and Sunday School every Sunday. When she is in high school make church attendance an expectation, not an option. When she is in college, personally help her find a church home that is suitable to her. This includes praying for her and with her all along the way. Bar none, this is the most important of these ten items.

What items would you add to this list?

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The Last Shall Be First

I don’t think it’s what Jesus had in mind, but I just finished reading Steven Pressfield’s Do the Work, and a major takeaway is that “the last shall be first.” Pressfield encourages the reader to determine where it is you want to end up with your project, weight loss, book…or whatever…and then plan how you are going to get there. Start at the end and then plot your journey. Set your goal. Get there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $100.


Resistance will get in the way, try to stop you, do everything It can to keep you from getting to the end goal. But it is your job to keep plowing through, don’t stop, don’t quit, don’t listen to the voices that will most certainly drag you down or keep you from crossing the finish line.

Seems to be to be a great way to start each day. Where do you want to be at the end of the day? What do you want to accomplish? Where do you want to be? Now go get there.

Start with the last and the first will be easy to determine. With the goal in mind the first steps are more obvious and easier to take. At the end of the day, the month, or the year you will find yourself right where you always knew you were headed.

The very One who said “the last will be first” is the One who already knew in eternity what the end goal was and had to be. In the manger  the end was already in sight. On the morning of Good Friday it was already known what the end would, could, and should be. With His eye on the only goal He came to accomplish, Jesus began with the end in mind and went ahead and accomplished it for the world. The First became last for you.

He was perfect and we, of course, are not. Our nature often keeps us from following through and making it all the way to the ends that are important for life and faith. But He promises to be with you always, even in seeming minutiae. He is there to help you plow through, keep going, and overcome the voices that would overtake. He wants what’s best for you. And what is often best for you is to follow through all the way to the end…to do what needs to be done for your own good, for the good of others, and for the good of the Kingdom.

I challenge you today to make the last first. Where do you want to be at the end of the day today? Get there. Where do you want to go this month? Get there. Where do you want find yourself at the end of this year? Write down the end, envision what the final scene will look like, and allow yourself to have a taste of the final feast. Now go take the first steps toward getting there.

How can putting the last first make a difference in your life?

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The Confidence of a Confidant

I’m certain you’ve never had a difficult week, but this one has been particularly so for me. There have been any number of personal and professional frustrations, difficulties, disappointments, and failures. The easiest thing would be to throw up my hands, crawl into a hole, and raise the white flag.

Unfortunately, that’s just not possible. Life has to go on. There is work to be done. There are mountains to be climbed and enemies to be overtaken. Frustration may try to win the day, but surrender is not an option.

I would have been lost this week without the perfect confidant: the person that calms, supports, listens, and even fiercely defends against any and all enemies. For me it is my wife. I have the confidence of knowing that my spousal confidant will be the resting place for words that need go no further than her ears.

Since I am a pastor, I have taken a vow to never divulge the sins confessed to me. And I never have. But as a human being there are plenty of other things that ought not remain bottled up inside. They need to be released, given wings, and shared with another. Burdens are never meant to be borne alone. Bearing burdens alone is to be buried under darkness with nary a ray of light to be seen. It’s quicksand, a whirlpool, a cyclone that floods that floods and drowns the soul.

Jesus Himself recognized the importance of sharing the bearing of burdens, of finding confidence in a confidant. He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28, 30). There is no One greater with whom to share one’s burden.

But He also provides flesh and blood people to be His ears, His shoulders, and His defense from the quicksand, whirlpools, and cyclones of life. I don’t know what I would have done this week had I not had the listening ears and support of someone who loves and cares for me. The Navy seals, who raided Osama bin Laden’s compound, took two helicopters on the mission because, they say, “Two is one. One is none.”

If you don’t have a confidant with whom to share confidences, please do whatever you can to make sure that you do. It will be good for your psyche. She will lift the burden. He will be the rope that brings you out of the quicksand, the lifesaver tossed into the whirlpool, and the high ground protecting you from the floods of frustrations.

Who has been the confidant with whom you share confidences?

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What’s the Inspiration?

Recently I’ve been thinking a great deal about inspiration. I guess that’s because I’ve been inspired in many and various ways in the past few weeks: I saw a weekend of theatre; I discovered a blog that’s all about inspiration; I saw The King’s Speech.


I’ve even been inspired by playing Words with Friends.

I’ve been inspired by a friend who got a brand new job…the kind of job that fits him perfectly…the kind of job for which he has dreamed. I’ve been inspired by watching hard working young men see their dreams come true in the NFL draft.

I’ve been inspired by some Twitter friends who are currently attending a seminar to improve their public speaking. I’ve been inspired by a friend who recently celebrated the one year anniversary of starting her own business.

I’ve been inspired by looking out at a congregation on Easter Sunday morning filled with people of different ages, races, and financial backgrounds. I’ve been inspired by someone bravely facing serious illness and surgery.

I’ve been inspired by Seth Godin whose book I just read. I’ve been inspired by a brand new baseball season and a brand new computer that makes my work so much easier.

I’ve been inspired by the college students I teach. I’ve been inspired by the men I have the privilege of mentoring.

I’ve even been inspired by two new windshield wipers on my car. (I’m a little obsessed with a perfectly clean windshield on a rainy day.)

But today I’m really curious as to what it is that has recently inspired you. I genuinely want to be inspired by your inspirations.

Would you please leave a comment below and let me know how you have been inspired in the past days and weeks?

 

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It’s Live!

When was the last time you went to see a play, musical, or show? I sincerely hope it hasn’t been too long. If it’s been a while, there’s a piece of you that needs to be awakened…and will be as a result.

I liken seeing the live performance of a play or musical to having something resurrected within me. As I sit and watch I feel joy, get chills, experience pathos and sadness, and see myself reflected in the story. I get to view life from a different perspective. I see the human experience up close. I am a richer person having had the opportunity to lose myself in a live story, re-presented by living, breathing people.

One of my favorite quotes about theatre comes from Cathleen McGuigan, who wrote a piece for Newsweek:

The experience of theater is one of the few satisfying live entertainments available in our virtual culture. There’s nothing quite like the risky thrill of sharing a space with breathing, sweating actors—with no possibility of editing, photoshopping, voice dubbing or blue-screen special effects. The relationship between the characters onstage and each member of the audience who’s willing to suspend disbelief is a unique, delicate and deeply personal experience.

I got to experience that again recently as I watched a young lady do a cabaret type performance the Senior Project of her B.F.A. in acting. (Disclaimer: No, it wasn’t my daughter…although she did have a small part in one of the pieces.) The actress used the cabaret format to explore love and relationships from the female perspective. She did songs from 110 in the Shade, Guys and Dolls, The Last Five Years, Into the Woods, Avenue Q, and Legally Blonde. I learned some new songs. I was drawn in by her emotion. I thought about life in a different way. As the actors said on an old Saturday Night Live skit: “I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.”

The great thing about live theatre is just that: It’s Live! It not only brings a story to life, it brings life to a story. It draws the audience in and asks each member to do two seemingly contradictory things at the same time: 1. Suspend disbelief; and 2. Believe that the story is her or his own.

I guess that’s why whenever I watch most any kind of (good) live performance I feel more alive myself. I feel tears welling up as the performance brings to the surface heartaches and hard times in my own life. I feel exhilaration as the performance brings to the surface particular joys from my own life. I find myself re-thinking a situation in my own life as I see it literally being played out on stage. I even feel melancholy as the performance drudges up my own regrets, failures, or simply a time that has long since passed. Even the melancholy that I feel makes me feel living and alive.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that theatre expresses emotion and shows the diamond facets of life. It’s living. And it’s live. And I love it.

What is it that makes you feel truly alive? What particular performance drew something new out of you?