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The Building Block of Building Trust

April 12, 2013 in Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships with 0 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trust. It’s because I’ve been witnessing far too much mistrust. Mistrust makes progress so much more difficult. It creates more hurdles than there need be. It erects barriers that are difficult to climb.

Turst

As I sit back and watch certain circles of mistrust, I think to myself: “I know both of these people, and they’re both good people. Why don’t they trust one another?” 

What it boils down to is that they really don’t know one another. I can remember being on the ground floor of building a community organizing group in Milwaukee. We hired an extremely well-qualified individual to lead our organization. He and I seemed to have little in common. We liked each other well enough, but I certainly never thought we would become friends.

That’s exactly why he intentionally took the time to sit down with me, one-on-one, and took the time to get to me…and I him. We got to know each other not as “labels,” but as people, individuals with families,with likes and dislikes, with passions and pursuits. As a result, we have become great friends.

The key to trust is getting to know someone else as a person. I love the old quote: “Be nice, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

  • Don’t mistrust
  • Don’t dislike
  • Don’t look askance
  • Don’t think you can’t be a friend to someone….

Until you have taken the time to really get to know someone.

Trust makes the world a much better place. It makes progress easier. It makes hurdles disappear. It tears down barriers.

Whom is it that you most mistrust right now? What would happen if you sat down, face to face, and really got to know her or him?

I challenge you to give it a try. You may be greatly surprised at the results.

At the very least, you will develop an empathy for the hard battle someone else is fighting. 

What advice do you have for building trust?

How to Affirm Harmony and Unity

March 12, 2013 in Inspiration, Leadership, Ministry with 0 Comments

You wouldn’t think that riding your bike would provide examples of harmony and unity. Just steps away from our house is a bike trail with incredible vegetation, vistas that provide sweeping views, and access to a pier that goes out into a large lake filled with jumping fish, wetland birds, alligators, and wildlife of all kinds. The other day I saw a turkey on the shore. One evening I watched the sun dip down into the far side of the lake.

Harmony and Unity

One of the best parts of any bike ride on that trail, is spending time out on that pier watching how the unity and harmony of nature plays itself out. There is an ecosystem that works the way in which it was intended by the Creator. There is life. And there is death. There is beauty. And in the midst of that beauty, ugly things, too.

In other words, it’s a mess. Just like life.

Yet in all of it there is harmony and unity that exhibits the way all things work together for good.

I have now had eight months to become part of the ecosystem of a new (for me) congregation. I have been serving, teaching, preaching, visiting, listening, asking, working, learning, and living with the people of Ascension Lutheran Church.  We’ve been trying to put the pieces together. I feel as though I’ve been placed into an ecosystem that had already been working well, but was seeking ways to find even greater harmony and unity.

For months we have been having meetings and events designed to bring greater harmony and unity into an ecosystem where people have been brought together for a specific purpose. It’s not always easy. Where there are personalities, changes, and opinions, there are ups and downs, highs and lows. But where people have a common there is always a harmony and unity whether or not it is realized.

Last month we got together as a congregation to talk about unity, harmony, and purpose. It was an event that was well-received and met with enthusiasm. From the people who set up the room and put together the luncheon, to those who sat at tables laughing and talking with one another, to artists who made balloon animals and took photos, there was a spirit of unity and harmony.

But the event ended in a way that demonstrated the unity and harmony that some may not have realized was present. Members of our traditional choir and our praise band came together at the front of the room to lead the entire group in singing, “Now Thank We All Our God.” Everyone willingly and happily joined hands together all the way around the room in an outward demonstration of unity and harmony.

God demonstrates unity and harmony in many and various ways. When His baptized people come together there is no greater unity and harmony here on earth. It isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s even ugly and death-defying.

The ecosystem of God’s church ought to be demonstrated far more than it often is. 

Where do you see harmony and unity demonstrated in the church, or otherwise?

How to Make a Difference Where It’s Really Needed

October 26, 2012 in Inspiration, Leadership, Ministry, Uncategorized with 3 Comments

We hear too much of it lately. Last week in our suburban Orlando community, a man went into a beauty salon with a gun, killed his girlfriend and two others, then went home and turned the gun on himself. In light of these kinds of events a community feels helpless.

Within a day or two, one of the local pastors contacted me asking if we might want to get other clergy together and have a prayer vigil. So we did some quick planning, inviting, and writing. We brought members of our churches. First responders attended. The mayor of our city was there. Media covered the event as well.

We did the only thing that could be done in such a seemingly helpless and hopeless situation. We prayed.

After the vigil, everything honestly seemed the same. People milled around. The family’s of the victims were still missing their loved ones. Reporters did some more interviewing. The fire truck and ambulance pulled away. A few people left remembrances at the front of the beauty salon.

Everything was actually now different. Faithful people prayed. The Lord listened. And He will answer those prayers. He promises to do so.

We prayed for healing, peace, for our first responders, and for hope. I, for one, believe that the Lord is the One who gives all of those gifts:

  • Those who hurt are healed by His grace, sometimes using the instrument of modern medicine or psychological therapy, sometimes using miraculous means.
  • Those who need peace will receive it from the only source of true peace.
  • First responders are themselves a gift from God. He uses them to protect us and to bring us help when we need it.
  • Those who need hope, even in desperate situations will receive it from the promise of eternal life through Jesus who gave His life to secure certain and lasting hope.

In the end, we didn’t make a difference. A difference was made because God was and is present through His Word which brings healing, peace, protection, and hope.

Where do you see the need for a difference to be made?

5 Blogs You Ought to Be Reading

September 21, 2012 in Creativity, Inspiration, Leadership, Story, Writing with 0 Comments

At the Apple Store today I received incredible service from an employee who just happens to be a young, upstart filmmaker. I give the guy all kinds of credit for following his passion and pursuing his dream. He and a couple of friends are starting their own company even as we speak. I have a heart for young people who are doing the one thing they are passionate about. We have two children who are doing just that.

So while we were talking and closing the transaction, I wanted to do whatever I could to help him out. I recommended that he sign up to receive Seth Godin’s blog every day. I know for a fact that if he reads it, and follows what Seth says, it will help his young company thrive. Godin’s advice isn’t always easy, but it’s always right on target.

It dawned on me that since I have been on Twitter, I have learned more than I could have ever imagined from some fantastic blogs that I discovered there. I want you to reap the benefits, too. So here is a list of five blogs that I almost can’t live without. Pick and choose the ones that are best for you. They may not all fit your station in life, but there just may be one that does.

1. Seth Godin This blog, by the bestselling author if Linchpin and Purple Cow, comes to your inbox every single day. It has to do with marketing, standing out, doing life and business in a purple cow kind of way in this web 2.0 world.

2. Michael Hyatt This blog on Christian leadership applies even to those who don’t feel as though they are leaders. It applies to many areas of life, and may just get you to carry out your own “life plan.”

3. Allison Vesterfelt  Ally’s writing tugs at my heart just about every time I read it. Her blog is so diverse that both my 23-year-old daughter and I love it. You will think deeper thoughts about both yourself and your faith life when you read this blog.

4. Jon Acuff This bestselling author of Stuff Christians Life and Quitter is brilliantly funny with perceptive commentary on the Christian faith and life.

5. Donald Miller Another bestselling author, Miller wrote Blue Like Jazz (which is now also a feature film) and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Now he has rebranded himself to encourage people to “live better stories.” If you read his blog you almost certainly will.

Click one of the links above and begin exploring. Your day will be better for it. Your life may even be better for it.

Which blog would you recommend that others read?

The Sentence of Our Generation

August 27, 2012 in Creativity, Inspiration, Leadership with 0 Comments

When Neil Armstrong died last week I was reminded of his famous words when he set foot on the moon. The words he uttered became one of the most famous sentences of all time. He said,

“One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”

This sentence has defined my generation. As young children we sat and watched our black and white TV’s as Neil Armstrong took that famous step. Now we make giant leaps of our own, holding tiny computers in our hands. Just last week my best friend in San Francisco took me on a tour of his house as I watched on my iPhone. He was 2800 miles away. He could see me and I could see him. I felt like Dick Tracy.

Our children barely know what it’s like not to have a cell phone. Now they wonder how technology will impact their children. I can only imagine.

It seems as though giant leaps are made almost daily. But far too often those leaps are made by others. While our own hopes and dreams remain just that — hopes and dreams — others are working to make their hopes realities. They are persistent. They show up. They make the best use of their time.

They take the first step.

Sometimes just a small step is actually a giant leap:

  • Taking an idea and writing it down.
  • Planning the next step.
  • Building a model.
  • Having a meeting.
  • Following up.
  • Doing something uncomfortable.
  • Taking the risk by telling someone else.

Neil Armstrong could never have landed on the moon had someone not done the above things. Your goal may not be to land on the moon, but it could be something just as significant or life-changing.

Today I want to nudge you to bring forward idea you have in the back of your mind and take the first step toward making it a reality. Write it down. Plan. Tell someone else. Ask them to hold you accountable and follow up.

Take a risk and take a small step that just might be the giant leap this world…or maybe just your small corner of the world…really needs.

It may just be the impetus for the sentence that will define this next generation.

Go. Now. Do it.

What small step have you taken that, in the end, became a giant leap?

If He Can Do It, I Can Do It

August 23, 2012 in Culture, Inspiration, Leadership with 5 Comments

While you were watching the Olympics this summer, did you see the Nike commercial? You know…the one with the overweight kid “running” toward the camera? Well, really not running…more like shuffling. He barely puts one foot in front of the other while a voice talks about “greatness.” The commercial ends with the words: “We’re all capable of (greatness). All of us.”

That. Commercial. Motivated. Me. It wasn’t so much the words. In fact, I don’t think I even paid attention to the words any of the 83 times I saw the commercial. What I said to myself every time I saw that commercial was: “If he can do that, I can do that.”

I have been a sporadic “runner” off and on for many years now…more “on” than “off.” But over the past year or so it’s been very easy for me to find one excuse or another: “I’ll never be able to run again like I used to.” “I have this ‘fatigue’ that the doctors can’t figure out so I might as well give in to it.” “It’s too cold.” “It’s too hot.” “It won’t help me lose weight, anyway.”

So my running has been more sporadic than ever. But then I saw the kid on the Nike commercial. If he can do it, I can do it. Over the past couple of weeks, more often than not, I have been getting up, slipping on the running shoes, beating the heat with an early morning venture into the misty air, and putting one foot in front of the other. If you saw me “running” you’d see that it’s really not unlike the kid on the commercial.

But if he can do it, I can do it.

You know what? It’s really just about showing up. Making it a pattern. Creating a habit.

I haven’t noticed any big improvement, or that it’s becoming any easier. In fact, I wish I’d see at least some improvement. But I just. keep. thinking. about. that. kid.

If he can do it, I can do it. 

Nike says that it’s about “greatness.” I’d say that

  • It’s more about a competitive spirit and not giving up.
  • It’s about showing up.
  • It’s about making helpful habits.
  • It’s about using whatever it takes to motivate oneself.
  • It’s about lacing up the shoes and getting out there: hot or cold, rain or shine, energetic or tired.

If he can do it, I can do it.

And so can you.

What is motivating you today to move forward?

Don’t Wish Your Life Away

August 21, 2012 in Inspiration, Leadership with 4 Comments

Yesterday I realized that I’ve still got a whole suitcase full of clothes that I haven’t even opened since I’ve been here in Florida. Half of the clothes that I’m wearing right now are either in the dresser that I call “the floor” or in another suitcase. It’s definitely evidence that we are living temporarily.

We’re using furniture that’s not our own, silverware that isn’t ours, and are living a small apartment that we are only renting for (hopefully) a short period of time. It’s not easy. Have you ever just really wanted to use your own “stuff”: golf clubs, cook ware, a bike, or your computer? It just makes you feel a bit “out of sorts.” We’re waiting for our house to be built and the process is painfully slow. A watched pot boils faster.

But it’s all sort of like planting seeds in the ground and waiting for them to grow. You know that eventually something wonderful is going to pop out of the ground. You simply have to be patient until that day arrives.

As my wife’s grandmother used to say: “Don’t wish your life away.” There is plenty to be excited about for today. What is happening under the soil as a seed takes root is all about:

  • building strength
  • laying a foundation
  • measured growth
  • daily nurture
  • preparing for next stages

I only wrote that last paragraph because I have to remind myself of that principle. I am, by nature, an impatient person. But in my heart of hearts I know that this time of transition is for me

  • building strength
  • laying a foundation
  • measured growth
  • daily nurture
  • preparing me for upcoming stages in my life

I was reminded of all this by one of my favorite bloggers, Allison Vesterfelt, who recently wrote that life “never feels dreamy while you’re living it,” and “dreams come true while you’re taking out the trash, or doing dishes.” Jesus said, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:33-34).

Seek His kingdom today. Tomorrow there may just be a shoot sticking out the ground, a branch growing off of a stem, or even a flower blooming at the top of your life’s plant.

What are YOU anticipating, that can just as well be “left until tomorrow”?

Three Steps For Laying a Firm Foundation

August 8, 2012 in Creativity, Leadership, Ministry with 0 Comments

The best way to begin anything is to build a foundation. Big or small, everything needs a foundation. Two important foundations are being built in my life right now, and I’m learning important lessons from both of them.

Construction crews are building a foundation on our new home. In addition, the people of Ascension Lutheran Church and I are building a foundation for our common ministry together.

Here in Florida the ground is too swampy for basements, so a house begins with a slab. It’s a nice flat, firm, level place on which to build the house. In order to withstand hurricane force winds, cinder block is used for the lower portion of the home, and then steel straps are pulled through the cinder block to the roof to hold everything down. A great deal about home construction was learned after the devastating hurricane Andrew in 1992. I’m glad that we get to reap those benefits. Our construction manager tells us that our roof will be able to withstand winds of 140 mph, or more.

We’re laying a slab at Ascension, too. It has to be done in a way similar to the building of a house:

  • Pour the slab.
  • Lay the blocks, one by one.
  • Secure it so that it weathers the storms.

We are pouring the slab by measuring the perimeter, pouring carefully, and smoothing it all out. The slab is being poured through a series of listening sessions where Ascension members are getting the chance to respond to twenty questions about the history of the church. They get to consider the past, think about the future, and do a little dreaming. We are measuring the perimeter by keeping in place boundaries. We are staying within the boundaries of the way things are currently being done. As a wise pastor once told me, “Don’t make any major changes for a year.” And we are smoothing it all out by sharing a great deal of fellowship time with one another (thanks to the hospitality of these great people).

We are laying the blocks one by one in a very intentional way. This is happening through one-on-one conversations and in small group settings. I’m developing relationships with people so that I get to know them personally, and they get to know me. We cannot truly move forward together until we all know each other well, and understand that each of us are fighting personal battles and glorying in personal triumphs.

Finally, we are securing it all, not with steel straps, but with the most important fastener of all: Love. When we listen to one another, learn from each other, get to know our common joys, sorrows, and triumphs, we cannot help but love one another. We are bound together with the greatest love of all, the Love of God that never falls or fails.

It is that love which will help us together weather any storm. And there will be storms. But we will learn from them, and they will make us stronger.

But it all starts with a solid foundation.

What other ingredients would you add to the construction of a firm foundation?

3 Tips for Managing Expectations

July 16, 2012 in Inspiration, Leadership, Ministry with 2 Comments

Have you ever anticipated something only to find that it was completely different from what you expected?

  • The pictures on the web site of the vacation home were taken at night, lit like a Christmas tree, from across the lake. When you drove up, it looked completely different.
  • The conference registration promised a mountaintop experience. Your idea of a mountaintop and theirs ended up being completely different.
  • The reviews of a restaurant  led you to think it would be a completely mediocre experience. To you it became one of the best places you had ever been.

For months I had been thinking, dreaming, envisioning, and contemplating what life would be like beginning a new ministry in a new place. I had certain pictures of the place, the people, and my own activities and attitudes. I had a very complete picture in my mind.

Now that I am here and I have actually settled in, things are different from what I expected. Not at all worse, or even better. Just different. I am finding that I have to manage my expectations and keep at the forefront of my mind the goals and dreams that I had when I rolled into town.

To do that, I am making sure to these three things:

  1. Following a written plan. Before I rolled into town I wrote a 100 day plan that would be my guide through my first few months. I make sure to consult it daily and see to it that I live up to my own expectations.
  2. Listening and learning from the people who have been living the reality I have now entered. I am putting together listening sessions in my new congregation so that I can learn the thoughts, dreams, hopes, and ministry goals of the people who have a vested interest in Ascension Lutheran Church and its ministry. Their thoughts both ground me and give me a launching point to move forward in an intentional way.
  3. Adjusting my expectations to meet reality. A fun part of managing prior expectations is looking at the places where they meet with reality, and adjusting accordingly. It’s a fun exercise that brings lofty ideas down to the plane of “rubber-meets-the-road” ministry. It actually gives everyday work direction and impetus to bring some of those loft hopes, dreams, and goals to fruition.

If you’re trying to manage expectations: 

  1. Write down your plan.
  2. Listen and Learn.
  3. Adjust expectations.
Your expectations may even be greater than the ones you initially envisioned.
How do you manage expectations?

The Other End of a Decision

July 9, 2012 in Inspiration, Leadership with 8 Comments

I am now on the other end of a major life decision. Today  began a new ministry in a completely new place amongst new (to me) people. And what a day it was. People were gracious, good-humored, very kind, and very loving.

It would not be honest to say that I was always completely comfortable with the decision to end one ministry, begin another, move a quarter of the way across the country, and start all new endeavors. Sure, there were doubts. There were times when I thought about just remaining in a comfortable place where things had become somewhat routine.

But in the end, I knew that I was being led to follow a Call. In the end, I knew I couldn’t refuse. In the end, there were just too many things that pointed to a decision that I knew I had to make. In the end, the decision was made, we made the move, and here we are in the middle of a hot Florida summer.

When a decision is made, it often isn’t until one gets to the “other end” of it that there is affirmation. Following my installation today as Senior Pastor of Ascension Lutheran Church in Casselberry, Florida, our daughter made a statement that brought (for me) final affirmation.

She said, “You made the right decision. The people here are really, really nice.” True words. Affirmation. I guess it was so affirming because it came from an unexpected source. I never thought our daughter would make a statement like that. She was separated enough from the initial decision that her words carried weight.

The next time you have to make a decision, watch for signs that affirm your decision. Those signs may not come until after the decision is made, but they will bring affirmation and peace of mind.

Maybe you won’t even have to wait until after the decision is made. After seeking the opinions of people who are close to a situation, seek people who are on the perimeter of your decision and ask their opinion. It may go a long way toward turning back…or affirming a decision. God often uses His people to help reveal His will.

It’s always nice to know, on the other end of a decision, that it was the right one.

How do you determine when a decision is the correct one?

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