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The Benefit of Doing the Very Thing You Don’t Want To

There are very few things in life more difficult than a first-time mom going back to work after maternity leave. Our daughter has been dreading doing just that since the very day she left work to have her baby. Since then it’s been three full months of maternity leave bliss. She has enjoyed every day and every minute with her sweet little baby. She’s enjoyed midday walks and freedom from the confines of a daily job. But today’s the day. It’s hard for her to see the benefit of going back to work at all.

There is benefit to doing difficult things in life. Sure, that first day back to work is difficult for a first-time mom. And there will be more difficult days. The first day of Kindergarten. Kids at school making life difficult. Driving off in the car for the first time. And what it all really builds up to…the dreaded first day of college, and the empty nest.

The point is that difficult days raising children incrementally prepare us. We are never really ready for the day the empty nest becomes a reality. But we become just a bit more calloused the more we go through the stages and ages of life. We learn to know that as children grow there will be constant reminders of the passing of life. Things will not always be easy. Raising children isn’t.

Doing what we don’t want to isn’t easy. And I hate to be a fatalist, but it’s part of life. So if that’s true, we had better find the good in the things we dislike.

  • Back to work after a baby means that you have a job and are bringing in income and benefits
  • A job you dislike means learning experiences which will help in future positions
  • Taking a test at school means you’ve had the opportunity to learn new things
  • Surgery means potential healing
  • Going to the dentist means you get to keep your teeth

Life in this world can be difficult. It means doing difficult things. But when you do something difficult today, look for the silver-lining benefit. Your life will be the better for it.

What have you learned from doing something difficult?

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The Magic of Making Someone Your Honorary Mom or Dad

I’ve always been fascinated with the concept of “paying it forward.” There’s a certain magic to an unexpected gift. It’s fun to share the joy that you yourself have received. I’ve been the recipient of it a time or two. Not too long ago I stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts very early in the morning. I was in the drive through waiting for my daily fix of iced tea (I don’t like coffee, and I am trying to limit my soda intake). I got to the window and was told the person in the car in front of me paid for my tea. It was a really nice start to my day.

But I have a friend who has taken this to a whole new level. The other day she shared on her Facebook Page a very intimate and inspirational post about a new tradition she has created.

Here’s what she wrote:

After I lost my parents a few years back I started a new tradition; on their birthdays, anniversary, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, if I am out and about or at work in the cafeteria I buy someone’s meal or coffee and let them know why and that they are my honorary mom or dad for the day. Last week on my brother’s birthday, I did it again because we live far apart and I can’t take him out. Today for my sister’s birthday I bought a woman’s lunch.

Let me tell you what joy it is, sharing just a bit is the love in my heart I have, and it never seems to run out. I ran into the lady again later in the hallway as they were wheeling her husband to the floor from ER. She gave me another hug and thanked me again. I think it does more for me than the person who is on the receiving end; I am reminded that no matter what went wrong today, or all that is bad in the world, I still get to make a choice about what I do and how I love people.

As you make your way through your day today, whom is it that will be your honorary mom or dad? You don’t even have to spend money. Maybe you could send a handwritten note or email. Bake them cookies. Pay it forward in whatever way you think is best. There will most certainly be magic.

How will you pay it forward today?

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An Opportunity for You to Strengthen Your Family

Every once in a while I run across a program that makes my heart sing. Here’s one that has a name on it you will recognize: Zig Ziglar. I have read Zig’s books, and even heard him speak a couple of years before he died. Now his family is giving your family the full potential to be, do, and have all that it has been designed for.

Deep down you have a desire for more. Unfortunately, you may feel discouraged and overwhelmed by everything that works against a healthy, balanced family life, from kids’ hectic schedules, to financial stress, to communication issues with loved ones, to pressure at work.

Thrive: A Ziglar Family Community will offer you a way to connect with experts as well as other families. You’ll learn to make small, manageable, positive changes and start to move from survival, to success, to significance, to legacy.

It’s all being kicked off with a week-long family challenge I’d like to invite you to join. This week is filled with high profile “challengers” who will present great messages to inspire and inform you.

If ever there was a challenger that needed no introduction, that’s today’s guest. It’s NFL player and Super Bowl championship coach —and proud father of 10 — Tony Dungy.

You probably recognize Tony as the most successful head coach in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ history.  He was also the first African American head coach to earn a Super Bowl victory, which he did with the Indianapolis Colts.

Tony is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of several books. In Uncommon Marriage, he and his wife Lauren share what it takes to build a marriage that lasts.

He’s involved with numerous charitable organizations, including All-Pro Dad, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and Boys & Girls Clubs, among others.

He retired from coaching in 2009 and now serves as a studio analyst for NBC’s Football Night in America. You can probably imagine just how busy his schedule can be and how intentional he has to be about integrating work and family life.

And that’s what Tony is bringing to you today: his advice for finding ways to connect with your children even when your work life seems crazy busy. Tony has an innovative and effective idea for bringing work and home together that he learned years ago from his own father.

Click here to see what Tony wants to share with you today at the 7-Day Family Challenge from Ziglar Family.

PS – It’s kind of incredible that an NFL coach could implement a family policy with his team like Tony did. Click here to hear all about it!

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Church Is the One Place You’re Sure to Get a Creative Boost

Our son and daughter-in-law live in Nashville, Tennessee. So it isn’t very often that we get to accompany them to church. For me it’s always fascinating to visit other churches and soak in the way they do things. I always learn something new and bring back a few tips to help in my own ministry. But this time I learned a little something more. Church is a place that always seems to offer a creative boost.

On the way out of church our daughter-in-law, Emily, asked: “Why do I always seem to get creative ideas in church?” Our son agreed. He said he does, too. And I have to admit that when I have the opportunity to sit in the congregation, the same goes for me.

Emily owns and operates a very successful jewelry business. Our son is a musician. And my wife, Tammy, as you know, has just started her own business. So after church Emily started telling Tammy about an idea she had for Tammy’s business. In the car we started discussing the idea and expanding on it. The whole thing grew out of thoughts that came to mind in church.

Before you think that we missed the whole point of church, think again. I came away with precisely what I needed this week for my spiritual life. The pastor preached a sermon that spoke directly to me. The four of us who worshiped together all agreed. And yet at the same time church is a fertile ground for creativity.

Here’s why I think that is:

  1. We’re in the presence of a creative God. God gives us a creative boost whenever we’re conscious of His presence. Creativity is part of His very nature. He created the world and everything in it. To be touched by Him in weekly worship means to be touched by a creative spark.
  2. We hear the creative Word of God. God’s Word does what it says it’s going to do. It delivers and creates the forgiveness of sins. If it does that (and so much more!) it can most certainly create in our hearts and minds new thoughts and ideas.
  3. There are moments of silence and contemplation. We live in a noisy world. Church is one of the few places where there are moments of silence and contemplation. In prayerful moments why can’t the Holy Spirit introduce new and creative thoughts into our minds?
  4. We’re not distracted by (many) other things. Church is the one place we (mostly) put away our phones and focus on the things going on around us. Even the screens in church help us to focus on the topic at hand. We have common voice and common thought with the people around us. It brings clarity of mind.
  5. We are drawn out of the world. Church is a very different environment from most of the other places we frequent in our daily lives. Even the architecture points us to higher things. The art and music speak of the things of God. His Creative Presence brings creative presence into our own beings. We are refreshed and renewed.

The next time you’re in church (and I hope it’s this coming Sunday), see if you don’t find yourself creatively inspired. Being in the presence of a creative God does that.

When have you experienced a creative renewal in church?

P.S. I write about this topic more extensively in my book, Fully and Creatively Alive. You can get your own copy by clicking here.

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How Nashville Hot Chicken Brings Out the Best in People

You can find Prince’s Hot Chicken in a beat up old strip mall in East Nashville. Nashville Hot Chicken has become quite the phenomenon in recent years, but Prince’s has been around since The Great Depression. Going there for lunch on a Thursday afternoon is one of the finest social experiments you’ll ever see. It’s not only the food that’s great. The people watching is, as well.

Thursdays are the only day of the week you can get four chicken fingers and bread for $6.00. When we got there near noon on a Thursday, the line was almost to the door. There are about seven tables in the restaurant and every one of them was full. As people waited in line they chatted, or waited patiently. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Who wouldn’t be? They were about to eat Nashville Hot Chicken.

The restaurant doesn’t exactly seem like the cleanest place. But they scored a 93 on their last Health Inspection. In fact, the place is so popular that the two guys in line behind us drove all the way from Chattanooga to have their tongues burn with cayenne goodness. Tourists took photos in front of the window outside. Mixed in were locals who are obvious regulars.

And everyone got along. There was no pushing or shoving. People of all political persuasions and ethnicities enjoyed their chicken — and each other — just the same. When tables became available there was an unwritten rule that the people waiting first would get it. Some even shared tables. An older out-of-town couple from one place occupied a table with a younger out-of-town couple from another. There were obvious Christian references all over the walls and the t-shirts workers were wearing.

We probably waited an hour from the time we entered the place until we began eating our chicken. It was worth every minute. The food was great (I’m still sweating!) and the people were pleasant.

Nothing fancy. Just good food. Decent customer service. Hard working people putting it all together. And friends, neighbors, and tourists sharing a local delicacy.

Is Nashville Hot Chicken what it’s going to take to mend some of the fences we’ve built? If so, maybe there should be a Prince’s Hot Chicken in every city.

We could use a whole lot more of that good-natured spirit in our country today. What do you say we make a concerted effort to do it ourselves, even without the chicken?

Where have you seen people of all persuasions getting along?

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What Chocolate Cake Taught Me About Art

If I can help it, I’ll never eat cake someone makes out of a box from the grocery store. I’ve been spoiled. My birthday comes around about this same time every year (!). When it does, my wife treats me with a made-from-scratch birthday cake. The recipe is her grandmother’s. It’s handwritten by Granny herself. And it includes things like buttermilk (when was the last time you bought that?!) and chocolate baking squares. To top it off it’s covered in buttercream frosting. To. Die. For.

I dare you to bake a cake from a grocery store box. Then bake one from scratch. Do a taste test. There is no question in my mind that you will much prefer the one that’s made from scratch. The grocery store box cake will be dry and lifeless. The one made from scratch will be moist, dense, and filled with flavor. It’s a work of art.

When I ate that deliciousness again this year it taught me something. A little extra effort, care, and fine ingredients make a world of difference. It could be compared to coloring in a coloring book as opposed to drawing freehand. Or paint-by-number instead of an original painting. Paint-by-number never looked good to me. There is no blending of the colors.

Here’s the lesson: In your daily work — in the art that you create — don’t paint by the numbers. Whenever possible, don’t use a box cake. Be daring enough to start from scratch. Even a little bit more effort can make a big difference in quality. More love and care in your project will set it apart. Ingredients that are a step above may be more expensive, but the quality will bring back your customers or consumers.

Seth Godin likes to talk about the fact that far too many corporations are on a “race to the bottom.” They use the cheapest labor and materials to get things to market and sell them. Quality and creativity are lost.

You don’t have to be that way. You can put extra effort, care, and fine ingredients into your work and art. You can bake a cake from scratch. The people who eat it will notice the delicious difference.

When have you noticed a home made difference?

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How to Write Something that Gets People to Take Action

No matter what you do you have to know how to write. More than that, there will come a time when you have to write something that causes people to take action. Whether you are in sales, marketing, teaching, or ministry, you are a salesperson. You may have to sell an item, a concept, a course, or an idea.

Today I heard a master copy writer speak about how to write things that move people to take action. He narrowed the whole process down to four steps. When you are writing copy that converts, it’s important to do these four things:

  1. Here’s who I am. Your reader needs to know who you are. It’s important to make a personal connection. Start by sharing something about yourself with which your targeted reader will identify.
  2. Here’s what I have for you. Once you have introduced yourself, show your reader what you have for her. Whether it’s an item, a concept, a course, or an idea, explain it with colorful and creative language.
  3. Here’s why it matters to you. If any of these four steps would be the key, this is the one. Your reader won’t buy or take action unless what you are “selling” matters to her. Speak into the heart and mind of your reader as best you can.
  4. Here’s what I want you to do next. Create a call to action. Be specific. Don’t be afraid to ask. Refuse to back down.

This structure would work for:

  • a sales email
  • a sermon (with proper distinction between Law and Gospel)
  • a newsletter article
  • a lesson plan
  • a Facebook post

Here’s what I want you to do next: Try writing something according to this structure. 

How do you get people to take action?

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Using an Audacious Challenge to Get Results

Darkness in and of itself is a challenge. When you couple darkness with a place that should be shining with light, it becomes a true test. Such is the case in our church’s sanctuary. The fixtures are original with the building, circa 1973. Bulbs burn out and can’t be replaced. Wiring that’s forty feet off the floor has to be inspected. LED bulbs would bring 21st century light to the situation.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to upgrade lights in a church? Take a guess. Consider: new fixtures, new wiring, new dimmers, the cost of labor, rental of a hydraulic lift. Before you know it the total is at least $75,000.

Most churches don’t just have $75,000 lying around. Ours certainly didn’t. So in January the Church Council decided to present our congregation with an audacious challenge: Raise pledges of at least $75,000 by the end of February, or we won’t move forward with the project. It was a wise move. People are tired of the dimly lit room. They want to be able to see very important Words. And people tend to give monetary resources to things that are tangible — like lights that will help them see every Sunday.

So we had roughly six weeks to raise commitments of $75,000. It was a true step of faith. People told me they didn’t think we could do it. But I’ve seen it done before. I watched a central city congregation I served raise the money to build a $2.5 million addition to a school.

Sometimes people simply need to be challenged. They need a compelling reason and a strong goal in order to move forward. That’s what we had. And it meant that we reached the goal even before the deadline.

So we took another step. We presented our people with a “stretch goal.” If we could raise $90,000 we could also take care of some of our outdoor lighting, as well as the lighting in our other buildings. As I write this we stand at about $82,000.

It’s amazing what people will do when they are challenged. Divine intervention and human competitiveness, along with an added dose of self-interest, have completed many a project and reached many a goal.

This isn’t just true for churches and organizations. It is also true for individuals.

So I’m challenging you today to set for yourself a goal that you’ve always thought was just a bit out of your reach. Write it down. Post it in a prominent place. Set a deadline for yourself. Have someone hold you accountable.

I’m betting that you’ll get results. You might even pleasantly surprise yourself and move past it to something bigger and better. Go ahead. Take the step today.

What audacious challenge have you placed before yourself, and then went ahead and made it happen?

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Three Reasons Pain Is Actually Good for You

Today our two-month-old grandson got his first shots. I believe the quote from his mother was: “Poor guy screamed and cried so hard he turned red and could barely breathe. But he calmed down fast and is now sleeping.” The little pinch of those shots is necessary to keep away the much more devastating pain of illness and disease.

Tim Ferris, author of The Four Hour Work Week, intentionally makes things uncomfortable for himself. Tim has written numerous bestselling books, has been involved in multiple start-up companies in Silicon Valley, and has a wildly successful podcast. He could be very comfortable, sit back relax, and be lazy.

But he puts adversity in his own path. He works out religiously and is careful about the food he puts in his body. He’s learned it from other successful people. He knows that no one, no matter how rich, goes through life without difficulty. We might as well be ready for it.

I confess to being lazy sometimes. It’s so much easier to simply remain comfortable, neglect exercise, and eat whatever I want. But becoming mentally tough and doing difficult things is often the better way to go. Here’s why:

  1. Pain now prevents pain later. Like our little grandson’s temporary discomfort, our own pain now will prevent greater pain later. The “pain” of exercise and eating right will prevent the greater difficulty of too much weight, disease, or getting back into shape later on down the road. Other types of pain in our lives do the same.
  2. Adversity builds character. If things are always comfortable, when diversity comes it can be devastating. But if we train ourselves with smaller adversities now, they will make difficulties down the road (perhaps?) a bit easier to take. Character is a much undervalued virtue in this day and age.
  3. Our own pain enables us to help others through theirs. Not only is this practical, it is also biblical. The Bible teaches us that sometimes we go through difficulty so that we can help others. Our experience with a certain adversity will enable us to help others who celebrate that very same adversity.

Adversity and difficulty right now can be a gift. Let’s try to look at it that way. In a sinful world, pain is inevitable. We pray that it will be minimal. And we pray that it will help us to help others.

What other reasons do you have that pain can actually be good for us?

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What It’s Like to Be Born Into a World of Innovation

I got to babysit my eight-week-old grandson yesterday. Our daughter had to go to the dentist, our son-in-law had a meeting, and my wife had to substitute teach. It was my day off, so I got the text: “Would you want to come watch Crosby?” Um. Do you even have to ask? I would move heaven and earth to spend some time with my favorite little boy. Being with Crosby made me realize that this little boy is surrounded by innovation.

Crosby and I spent about an hour-and-a-half all by ourselves. And Grandpa did just fine, thank you. I carried him around the apartment. He fell asleep. His Uncle Ben called and woke him up, so we face-timed with Uncle Ben for a little while. Pretty soon a diaper needed to be changed (yes, I still remember how to do that). Then we played on his little play mat. Before we knew it Mommy came home.

As we spent a little time together I began to think about all the innovation Crosby already has in his little world. He has an Amazon Echo Dot in his house that can set a timer for his nap or play lullaby music. His pack n’ play has everything but the kitchen sink. The monitor attached to his bed plays video to an app on an iPhone. Even his diapers don’t have sticky tabs. Don’t ask me how, but they attach without “tape” like diapers used to.

The CEO of Microsoft, Satya Nadella, recently described today’s world as a place that “values innovation more than anything else.” We can debate the value and morality of that statement. But there’s no arguing the fact that our world is filled with innovation that is greatly valued. That’s the world that Crosby has been born into.

He will never know what it’s like to live without a cell phone, a computer right on his desk, or the internet. He will always know the conveniences of innovation. He’ll be able to do things past generations only dreamed of. When he wants to he’ll be able to book his own vacation online. All the information in the world’s libraries will be right in his own hand. When he wants to see (live!) the face of a friend on the other side of the world, he’ll be able to do that.

Now Artificial Intelligence is coming down the pike. Machines are being taught to think like human beings. Who knows where that will lead? It’s both scary and exciting at the same time.

So here’s what I will try to teach Crosby in this innovative world:

  • Use technology with gusto, but always be wary and respectful of it.
  • Learn how to be bravely creative.
  • Don’t be afraid to innovate. It will do you well in life.
  • Don’t always rely on technology. Find opportunities to use your own brain without any technological help.
  • Love people before innovation.

I hope I get to babysit again soon. I’m sure it will inspire yet another blog post. (Love you Croz Man!)

What would you add to the above list?