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Life Is There, and I Have to Live

Two women. One story. Two continents. One tragedy.  Two broken hearts. One hope.

Andrea Garbarini lost her husband, a firefighter, in the 9/11 attacks. She coped by creating a documentary called “From the Ground Up.” She also visited and interviewed widows in Rwanda, whose husbands had been murdered in the nation’s genocide. She wanted to see how they made it through the most horrific tragedy anyone could ever imagine.

In her interviews, Andrea says the women helped her more than she could have ever helped them. She wanted to know how the women could see any light at all. She thought it might help her cope with her own tragic loss.

One Rwandan woman said, “I realized life is there, and I have to live.”

Life is there, and I have to live. She could have given up, ended it all, simply stopped living.

But she chose to move on, overcome, live. Death and Death’s allies thought they had scored victory. They were all sadly mistaken. The fortitude of one brave woman spoke hope.

Life is in front of her and she can do nothing but live it. Andrea Garbarini said that the Rwandan women helped her more than she could have ever helped them.

Don’t let tragedy strike before you say, “Life is there, and I have to live it.” God’s gift of life is not to be taken for granted. It is there. It is to be lived. It is to be loved. Even in the midst of tragedy it is filled with hope.

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

How are you living life to the full today?

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Leading Means Listening to One’s Own Words

This week, as the new school year was getting ready to commence, I had the opportunity to spend some time with our school’s teachers. I shared with them a DVD of Michael Hyatt’s talk at the 2011 Recreate conference. As I listened to Michael that cold day in February, I realized then and there that I wanted to share his words with our staff. It was a thoughtful, Scripturally based speech about handling criticism in a positive and constructive way. You can read about it here.

It turns out that I was the one who needed to pay attention to Michael Hyatt’s words and concepts. I diligently watched the DVD again, and found the advice simple yet profound. Little did I know I would soon have to heed the words myself.

I had just come back from vacation. Within the first few days back I became the victim of unfounded criticism. It’s funny how leaders often preach and teach things that they feel are for other people. I quickly realized that what I had been relaying to our staff through Michael Hyatt and others was also meant for me.

Too often leaders are insensitive and oblivious to their own needs, while trying to teach and lead others. I really, really needed to go over and rehearse Michael’s words a number of times before I could get through the emotion I was feeling. I had to pay very close attention to what I was teaching others. I had to listen to myself.

Leading is about more than teaching and telling others the way to go. It’s living and listening to one’s own words, thoughts, and teachings.

Where have you found your own words and teachings applying to yourself?

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How Zig Ziglar and Seth Godin Taught Me to Write and Keep Goals

It was late in the summer and another activity year was on the horizon. Floating around in my mind were all kinds of ideas, deadlines, possibilities, prospects, options, and opportunities. It was overwhelming and frustrating. I knew I needed to prioritize, but didn’t quite know the best way to go about it.

That’s when I turned to Zig Ziglar’s Legendary Goals Program, updated and simplified by Seth Godin. It has been newly published under the title Pick Four. At one point in his life Seth Godin felt very much like I had been feeling:

I was rudderless. Every project seemed like a shiny new toy, a new opportunity to make something work. I was so busy lurching from one project to another that I never had time to do the work necessary to make my ventures succeed. The lurching was a natural response: when things get tough, go do something else.

…Then I found Zig…Within a month I had written down all the steps he describes in his goals program, and I started following the steps. Drip, drip, drip. Day by day, bit by bit, I started to make progress. And then, quietly, my progress started accelerating. Suddenly, the bricks started falling into place, sales were made, personal goals achieved.

So I heeded Seth’s advice and began to work through the opening pages of the book. It is safe to say that it is just that: work. But it’s a good kind of work. It clarifies thoughts, ideas, and priorities. It’s even a little scary. Seth says:

…the reason we don’t set goals is that we’re afraid. We’re afraid of saying a goal out loud, even to ourselves, and certainly afraid of writing it down. We’re afraid of trying to achieve a goal and failing. And, surprisingly, we’re afraid of reaching our goals, because reaching them means our lives will change, and change is often at the center of our fear.

As of this writing I have composed my four goals and intend to keep track of my progress the next twelve weeks. I’m sleeping on them for a couple of nights before I sign the book and make my final commitment. I’m hoping that when I waver, this little notebook will keep me on track. When it doesn’t, I hope that my family and those close to me will.

If you have read this far, I want to give you a special opportunity. Pick Four comes in a four-pack, meant to share. I would like to give away my three extra workbooks. If you would like a chance to receive one of the three workbooks, completely free, here’s what to do:

  1. Comment on this blog post (not on Facebook or Twitter…but right here on this blog);
  2. Explain in your comment why you should receive the Pick Four goal setting book;
  3. Share a link to this blog post either on Facebook or Twitter.

At my discretion, I will select three people who do all three of these things to receive a copy of Pick Four. I will send or deliver it to you at my own expense. Then we can, together, bring priority, change, and accomplishment to our respective lives.

How do you prioritize and set goals?

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How to Start Almost Anything New with One Little Word

Although it’s only August, a new year is about to begin. Students and teachers everywhere are gearing up for a brand new season of learning and teaching.

New beginnings of any kind can be challenging, exhilarating, and nerve-racking all at the same time. There are hopes, fears, and expectations. Relationships are renewed. Goals are set. School supplies are purchased. Bulletin boards are created. Lesson plans are written down. School clothes are attained. Everything old is new again.

A new school year is a chance to start with a clean white board and a newly waxed floor. It’s a chance to choreograph the first steps of the years’ dance. It’s a chance to write the opening paragraph of the years’ novel with the best adjectives available.

Two biblical descriptions of the beginning of space and time surprisingly lack adjectives. They are simple and straight-forward:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1).

And…

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1).

They are begging for adjectives, but the Lord sees no need to provide them. Yet what flows out of Genesis 1:1 is one big description of God’s plan for His newly created universe. What flows out of John 1:1 is one big description of God’s plan for the salvation of fallen people.

The whole Bible is one big description of God’s love and grace for humankind. Amongst those pages are countless adjectives describing the God of the universe who lives to love and who is love.

It’s a great thought as you encounter any beginning: The God who is beyond description is present right from the start. With Him all things are new. Under Him all things are clean. Through Him all things are white as snow.

This year, as our school’s teachers come together for their first meeting, I’m going to encourage them to choose an adjective that describes God. They will use those adjectives to:

  • Create a piece of art using that word to display in her or his classroom
  • Use that word as a springboard for teaching the presence of God in the classroom
  • Evaluate the way God is working in the classroom, particularly under that adjectival attribute
  • Intentionally remember the work of God in and through His people each day
  • Begin the year new, clean, and white under a God who defies description…

…And yet was described perfectly in the person and work of the God-Man Jesus Christ who gave His life for the sins of the world.

What suggestion do you have for getting off to a great start?

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How Creativity Starts at the Very Beginning

Creativity kicks off right from the very start. When you’re writing, speaking, or presenting, the beginning sets the tone for creativity, and, in turn, draws attention and piques interest. A creative start is essential for a creative middle and end.

How’s this for an opening paragraph?

THE BAT stays with me. Isn’t that strange? I did so many amazing things on this crazy cross-country trip in search of what baseball means in 2011. I ate a Dodger Dog. I marveled at the artistry of Adrian Gonzalez’s swing. (“Artistry” is the only word that comes to mind; if the swing could be frozen, it would be in the Louvre.) I chatted with Vin Scully, took in a game with Bill James on an afternoon when the temperature topped even the heat of Justin Verlander, watched Prince Fielder uncoil his wonderfully violent swing. I contemplated eight simultaneous big league games while eating pizza in Manhattan’s East Village, then, 15 hours later and 157 blocks to the north, drank in the sound of a city in full celebration of history. I munched Cracker Jack in Cooperstown, that little American village where people so desperately want to believe baseball was invented.

This paragraph comes from an incredibly well-written article about baseball in the July 25, 2011 issue of Sports Illustrated. Once I read that opening paragraph there was no way I was going to put the magazine down. I had to keep reading. My persistence paid off all the way through, until I found myself shedding an emotional tear at the end of the article. Read it for yourself. You’ll see.

But it all began with the introduction. The introduction of this masterful article does three things:

  1. It piques my curiosity. Of which bat is he speaking? Out of all the incredible things he lists in the opening paragraph, in the end it’s a bat that “stays with (him).” I want to know more.
  2. It gives me an overview of what is to come.  I know I’m going to learn more about Los Angeles (“Dodger Dog”), Vin Scully, the best pitcher in the game (Justin Verlander), and one of my beloved Milwaukee Brewers (Prince Fielder). I want to read more.
  3. It uses adjectives and description to draw all of me in. A baseball swing that deserves to be in the Louvre? An afternoon topping the heat of Justin Verlander? Pizza in Manhattan’s East Village? Cracker Jack in Cooperstown (…nice alliteration!)? I want to taste more.

Granted, I am a huge baseball fan. But even if you are not a fan of baseball, I challenge you to read the article and not be interested, impressed, and drawn in by the writing.

And it all started with a masterful introduction. Creativity starts at the beginning and flows all the way through.

What examples do you have of great introductions?

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Is There Really Such a Thing as Southern Hospitality?

I’m just going to say it: People in the south are more friendly. When it comes to hospitality and kindness it seems that region makes a difference.

I’m certainly no expert in anthropology. I haven’t done any official study. This is all based on my own personal experience. I’ve spent significant time in Nashville over the past couple of years and have had experience after experience with people who go out of their way to say hello, ask how your day is going, or flash an unsolicited smile.

There is, it seems, such a thing as southern hospitality. Years ago when we moved to North Carolina with no family or friends within hundreds of miles, we were taken in, invited to lunch, and included in family reunions even though we weren’t part of the family. No offense to our northern friends, but it happened much more often in the south than it ever has in the north. It’s not a knock on the north. It’s just different.

My theory is that people in the north are simply much more used to keeping to themselves. Long winters leave them holed up in their homes more than half the year. It’s simply easier to go about one’s own business, nose-to -the-grindstone, business before hospitality.

Southern weather is a bit more palatable. People are out and amongst each other a greater part of the year. Could it be that more sun and warmer weather leads to more pleasant personalities?

Variety in human behavior is one of the things that makes travel so fascinating. It opens our eyes to new ways of living and behaving. If variety is the spice of life, then I’d like mine flavored with liberal amounts of Cajun, Mexican, and Italian.

What’s your favorite region of the U.S. to visit?

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20 Things I Learned During 20 Years of Life as a Pastor

This summer I marked 20 years as a pastor. It’s been quite a ride. In some ways it flew by. In other ways the start of my ministry seems like it happened in another lifetime.

Here are 20 things I have learned, one for each year in the ministry:

  1. You can’t please all the people all the time. If you try, you will find yourself incredibly frustrated. I learned this within the first six months of being a pastor.
  2. Be true to yourself. Don’t try to be someone else. People want you to be you, and they will love you for who you are.
  3. After God, your family is #1, not your church. Your family was there before your church, and will still be there after your church. Give them the time, love, and care that they need.
  4. Make sure that you are involved in the selection of church leadership. You must be able to work with those who are chosen to be leaders in the church. If not, at best there will be ineffectiveness; at worst, there will be conflict.
  5. If possible, hand write a birthday card to every member of the congregation on her or his birthday. It’s a great way to show people you care, remind inactive members that they are missing church, and even people who have left the congregation remember it as a personal touch from their pastor.
  6. Some things just aren’t worth changing, or “choose your battles.” Some things, some people, some programs are not worth fighting with or about. Wait for the things that really matter, like doctrine or unity, then put your integrity on the line.
  7. When “change” is necessary, do it slowly and with love and care. It may not happen at the speed you would prefer, but it will be much more palatable for all involved.
  8. Visit with people at home or at work. Meet them in settings away from the church. You get a whole new perspective.
  9. Pray for your people and for your church. And let them know that you are. And ask them to pray for you.
  10. Hire support people and other staff members who share your vision, passion, and strategies. It will save you time, effort, energy, and even heartbreak.
  11. Create significant time and space in your schedule to study and write your sermon. Creative and engaging preaching is born out of solid study and significant time to engage the text and culture.
  12. Make your day off a day off. Make sure to take time for personal sabbath. Burnout is significant amongst pastors. If you don’t “come apart” for a while each week you will come apart.
  13. If your congregation doesn’t have a sabbatical policy, encourage them to put one in place. One of the most significant times I spent in my twenty years of ministry was a three-month sabbatical in my eighteenth year of ministry. It should have happened much sooner than that.
  14. Go to conferences and classes that stretch you. Be an avid learner. Don’t be afraid to go beyond your comfort zone. Attend conferences where you know no one else. Take classes that are outside of your areas of strength.
  15. Read, read, read. Read theology. Read classics. Read about leadership. Read about writing. Read about relationships. Read.
  16. Become adept at social media. Sorry, but it’s not going away.  It’s going to make you more effective in ministry not just tomorrow, but already today.
  17. Say “thank you.” Then say it again. People love to be appreciated, people need to be appreciated, and people will be much more willing to help and serve when they are appreciated.
  18. Find friends outside of the congregation. You need people in your life with whom you don’t always have to be “on.”
  19. Work on becoming a better speaker, teacher, and presenter. The Gospel deserves the best speaker, teacher, and presenter you can be.
  20. Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat right. Care for yourself emotionally.
What things have you learned in your work that would be valuable for others to know?
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How to Be a Neighbor (“The Good Samaritan” Unplugged)

He loaded the animal for the daily trip from Jerusalem to Jericho. That city provided much needed work. The daily trek through treacherous territory was a small price to pay. Good wages and amenable fellow workers made each day a welcome adventure. But this day would find exceptional surprise.

The Good Samaritan, by He Qi. Used by permission. Go to www.heqigallery.com to view and purchase prints and posters.

As he and the animal climbed the path that passed random caves on one side and a dangerous drop on the other, two men went running by. They were nothing but a blur in the dusky dawn as they passed. It was unusual, but nothing to keep him from pressing on for a days’ wage.

When the morning sun peeked over the horizon he saw a shadowy figure slowly walking toward him. As it drew closer he noticed the robes of a priest. His head slowly bowed as the holy man walked by. He averted his eyes, but noticed a nervous shuffle in the priest’s step. Glancing back he watched the robed one throwing his gaze up to the heavens.

The sun was climbing and so was his animal. Picking up the pace toward a day of work, He pressed on. The footsteps of the animal pointed straight toward another stranger on the way. In the clear light he knew it was a Levite. The day seemed doubly blessed. But as he walked by the Levite raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

Rounding the next turn brought some much needed shade. For a moment his eyes were blinded. As they adjusted to the shade a twisted pile appeared on the ground in front of him. Drawing nearer his heart quickened to the discovery that the lump lying in front of him was a man.

The man had been beaten, bloodied, and left for dead.  Now he knew why two men had been sprinting in the early dawn. Apparently both a priest and a Levite had ignored the twisted pile of a man. But ignorance and ignoring would no longer take place. He got off his animal, took out his first aid kit, stopped the bleeding, and straightened the body as best he could. He heaved the pile off the ground, lifted it to the animal, and started off to the first place care could be given.

He gently laid his palm on the twisted pile of a man and moved with purpose. The animal’s empathetic eyes looked at its load with grace. They came to the place. “Please take him in. Care for him. I’ll pay you everything required. I’m on my way to work but will return this evening. If there’s any extra expense I will pay you then.”

As the sun set he came back to the place where care and comfort was given. He sat by the bed night after night, returning from each days’ work to do all he could to help the healing. He was a neighbor.

“Go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37).

Where have you seen mercy provided in an extraordinary way?

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How to Conquer a Blank Page (and Maybe Even Create the World’s Next Great Invention)

The other day I saw a young boy talking on his cell phone while he was riding his bike. While it’s probably not a very safe thing to do, it is a marvel of modern invention and creativity. When I was a kid I could have never dreamed of a day when I would be able to speak on the phone while riding my bike.

I was happy to clothespin a playing card to my bike tire so that it sounded like an engine. I was glad to create a “haunted house” in my basement. I enjoyed pretending that the local woods were a wilderness that I had to survive. I celebrated scoring the winning touchdown on my front yard playing field.

Today it’s a bit more of a challenge for kids to create their own scenes, scenarios, and survival stories. Entertainment is everywhere (even on a bike). Creativity is already created for kids. Screens are all around. Information overload is a part of every day.

It’s tough to be truly creative today. Ideas are all around us. The old saying still holds true that “there is nothing new under the sun.” Google a word or idea and you’ll find more information than you could ever read.

Here’s a creative test: When’s the last time you started with only a blank screen, white piece of paper, or an empty notebook? How about giving it a try, or sharing this idea with your favorite kid:

  • No search engines
  • No music in the background
  • No TV to get the ideas flowing
  • No Wikipedia
  • No research
  • No books filled with art
  • No demonstration manual

Start the blank document, lay out the blank page, or open up the note book. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Is my project a square or a circle?
  • In what time frame is my project set?
  • Where will my project go?
  • Who will “consume” my project?
  • What is the mood of my project?
  • What color is my project?
  • Where in the universe will my project take place?

Now put your fingers to the keyboard, brush to the page, or pen to the paper. Let your imagination lead. See where it takes you. Don’t stop. Keep writing, painting, or drawing for at least five minutes without stopping.

You will be amazed at where your creative thinking takes you. You may even find yourself with the beginnings of something that would rival a cell phone, a hand held computer, or a new type of communication.

Maybe someday a kid will be carrying around your invention or idea…an invention or idea that today can only be imagined.

What ideas do you have for conquering a blank page?

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Do You Live in a Mansion or a Tent?

When Muslims go on the hajj (one of the five pillars of Islam, a pilgrimage to the city of Mecca), they dress all in white from head to toe. As millions from around the world carry out their rituals together, no one knows who is a king or who is a pauper. They are all dressed alike. No one is treated better than another.

I was reminded of that practice recently when our church conducted some focus groups. The purpose was to evaluate our communication, improve our connections, and enhance our outreach. One of the focus groups consisted of new members. It was an energetic group of women who are still getting to know our church, and, that day, had the opportunity to get to know each other.

As the session concluded, one woman made a comment that made me realize our church is becoming what I had once hoped it could become. She said, “At our church you don’t know who lives in a mansion and who lives in a tent.” The consultant who had asked the question was duly impressed.

In fact, sitting around that table were almost literally those who live in “mansions” and those who live in “tents.” It’s a wonderful statement about the family of God. It’s a great picture of the level ground in the Kingdom of God.

St. Paul said, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). We don’t have to walk around all wearing white robes. We know that all sinners brought to faith in Christ are one with God and one with each other.

Through faith in Christ we figuratively wear the white robes of His righteousness. We have been made clean, brought to salvation, given eternal life…and it matters not where we live. In the end, we are living under the tent of God’s love and forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Where have you seen evidence of Christian unity?